i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
