Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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