well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
