Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
