I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
