just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
