just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Holy sore nipples Batman
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
