I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
be right there i have to get my cape
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
