i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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