I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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