White coat. Heels.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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