oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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