i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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