is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
