I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
