Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
