My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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