your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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