I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I want a musical about memes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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