look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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