just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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