chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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