So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
