I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize