Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm like, not good at living.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
