i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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