I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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