K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
