i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
