32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
