he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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