when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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