ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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