just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
