at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
