we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
