The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
