I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The ass gains better be worth it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
