Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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