just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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