You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
