Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
