the new term for farting is butt boxing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
