Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
