I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
