I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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