I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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