Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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