Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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