i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
love makes seman taste better
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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