We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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