It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
