ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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